Monday, February 28, 2011
March 1
Opening Journal:
1-Pick a passage from John Muir’s writing.
2-How does that passage characterize “place” and the American environment?
3-What rhetorical strategies does he employ to create this characterization?
Video excerpts from PBS National Parks: America’s Best Idea:
http://www.pbs.org/nationalparks/people/historical/muir/
In Groups:
1-What distinguishes John Muir’s writing from other writers you’ve experienced so far this semester?
2-How does his style of writing reflect his spirituality?
3-What about his prose might have drawn Americans to the National Parks?
March 3: Thursday
from Silent Spring, by Rachel Carson, p. 366 (Journal)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
February 24th
Image: Teddy Roosevelt and John Muir, two early champions of the parks, in Yosemite, 1903.
Image: In 1892, Buffalo Bill Cody (second from right) and company survey the land at Grand Canyon National Park, 1892
-Teddy Roosevelt video (from PBS America's Best Idea)
In Groups:
-What devices do you notice Roosevelt or Abbey using? (Pick at least 3 with a partner)
-Take fifteen minutes and try and make your own social or environmental argument using some of Roosevelt/or Abbey's strategies.
Homework: From A Thousand-Mile Walk to the Gulf, p. 85, and from My First
Summer in the Sierras, p. 98, by John Muir. (Journal on one)
Rhetorical Analysis
Rough Draft Due March 22
Final Draft Due March 29th
While the term "rhetorical analysis" is, at first, rather intimidating for many people, it is easily understood (at least at its most basic) when broken down and defined.
Rhetoric: The art of persuasion
Analysis: The breaking down of something into its parts and interpreting how those parts fit together.
A rhetorical analysis examines how a text works—how its words, its structure, its ideas connect—or don't connect—with a given audience. For this assignment I want you to choose one of the readings you’ve encountered this semester and to break it down to its structural components. Rather than merely summarizing what the author is saying a rhetorical analysis analyzes how the author conveys his or her thesis through specific structural decisions.
Instead of a traditional rhetorical analysis you will be writing an imitation of a piece we’ve read in this class then writing a two page analysis of your imitation. You will need to include both your thesis and the thesis of the original work. You will need to write about which of the author’s strategies you employed to imitate their writing style and you will need to exhibit an understanding of how those strategies furthered both your thesis and the thesis of the original text.
Directions:
-Choose a reading that you’ve enjoyed in this course
-Examine that reading closely. What is the author’s thesis? How does he or she make his or her argument stylistically? How does the essay/poem/story’s structure reflect its purpose?
-Write your own creative piece integrating rhetorical strategies you notice the original author using to convey your own ideas about home, place, or the environment.
- Your imitation does not need to relate to the content to the original piece (but you do need to use a similar writing style)
-Write a short (2 page) paper which includes both your thesis (purpose) and the thesis (purpose) of the original text, analyzing how both you and the original author used the same rhetorical strategies to convey your ideas
Evaluation Criteria:
Your imitation should:
-Effectively uses at least three rhetorical strategies (example: diction, imagery, symbolism, voice) from the original text
-Use the same form as the original text
-Echo the original text in tone and structure (I should be able to tell immediately which piece you’re imitating because of the stylistic similarities)
Your analysis paper should:
-Includes both original author’s claim/argument/thesis and your own claim/argument/thesis in the introduction of the paper (As we learned from our last unit, every text from a poster, to a film, to a poem has a thesis)
(Example: In "The Clan of the One Breasted Women" Terry Tempest Williams argues that the way we treat the environment, reflects our treatment of other people. In my essay,______, I argue___________.) -Forecast the content of your analysis paper in your introduction (This will function like a thesis for your paper)
(Example: Through our use of first person plural narration, symbolism, and surreal imagery, Terry Tempest Williams and I convey our separate ideas about environmental injustice using similar rhetoric. )
-Focuses on one rhetorical device per paragraph, analyzing how that device functions both your piece and the original author’s work
-Connects each rhetorical device/rhetorical strategy to both your thesis and the author’s thesis
-Exhibit an understanding of the more nuanced aspects of argument through your ability to connect the form and the content of both your imitation and the original text
Peer Response Questions (Keep for reference, by knowing what your peers will look for when they respond to your paper, you will better understand what I am looking for in your analysis paper):
For the analysis paper:
Introduction:
-Highlight/label the thesis of the writer’s (your classmate’s) poem/essay
-Highlight/label the thesis of the author’s poem/essay
-Highlight/label the forecasting thesis of the paper
-Does the introduction clearly include all THREE of these things?
The body:
-Does the writer (your classmate) organize all their paragraphs around the one specific rhetorical device? (Label the focus of each paragraph)
-Does the writer (your classmate) connect each device back to the thesis (theses) of both texts? If not, how could they form these connections?
-Does the author focus on HOW both poems are written? (Label places where the writer could delve deeper into form/structure of both pieces)
-Does the writer (your classmate) connect form and content? (If not how could they?)
-Circle examples of passive voice (is, was…). What verbs could the writer (your classmate) use instead?
-Circle any places where the writer (your classmate) is summarizing and not analyzing--suggest ways the writer could make the writing analysis rather than summary.
Friday, February 18, 2011
While puzzling over how to articulate the difference between an "A" and a "B" paper I remembered a handout one of my instructors uses in both her graduate and undergraduate classes. In this handout she outlines many of the small differences between an average paper and an excellent paper. I remember finding it very helpful so I asked her for a copy. In it she refers to writing about Shakespeare and using quotes--you don't need quotations (necessarily) in this paper and you're not writing about Shakespeare but I think a lot of the information is still applicable--particularly if you're striving for an "A" level paper.
"A" level papers will treat your visual examples as Professor Shenk suggests you use quotes: by providing a visual example then spending several sentences analyzing its significance before going onto the next visual example. They will use a clear argumentative title, a decisive thesis, and a thorough analysis of each example used, and they will use clear concise language, linguistic keywords, and varied sentence structure. "A" level papers will not use a string of unanalyzed examples, summarize, use "to-be" verbs and passive language, use second person or informal language, or make grammatical mistakes.
This may not be applicable to all of you--"A"s are difficult to come by in college courses and many of you may be striving to simply write a competent paper rather than an excellent one. However, those of you striving for a "B+" or above may want to check out Professor Shenk's very helpful list of paper writing tips.
All the best,
Rachael
Linda Shenk’s Helpful Hints to Writing about Shakespeare
Because writing good papers involves a few techniques that often are not difficult to execute and yet make a world of difference, I have provided the following helpful hints.
Showing off your analysis
1. Make a good first impression with a good title: The title is the first aspect of your paper that the reader encounters, so make a good first impression. Although your title might be witty or creative, above all, it should be specific about what exactly your analysis reveals.
Lifeless, overly general titles:
An Analysis of Katherine and Petruchio’s Shared Language in The Taming of the Shrew An Analysis of Iago in Othello
Informative, specific titles:
“I am your own forever”: Iago as Othello’s Obedient Spouse
“So may you lose your arms”: Katherine and Petruchio’s Shared Language of Violence
As I did for the second set of titles, you might want to incorporate a striking phrase from the text itself (one that is particularly important in your argument), OR you could echo a line from the text but reshape it to indicate your own interpretation. In all titles, make sure you include the name of the character(s) you are analyzing. Note: Only the quoted part of the title goes in quotation marks. Do not put the title of your own paper in quotation marks.
2. Have an identifiable thesis statement at the end of a one-paragraph introduction: At the end of your introductory paragraph, provide a thesis statement that explains what your attention to the language brings to light—an idea that should more be complex than what you thought about your character(s)/topic before you started working on the paper. Also, think about how your introductory paragraph overall lays out all the keywords of your topic so that, by the time you get to your thesis, you have already introduced the key ideas that you will examine in your essay. If you have trouble writing good introductions & thesis statements, make yourself write a conclusion for your first draft. This paragraph often contains many perfect keywords/phrases as well as a far better statement of your argument. Cut and paste.
3. Do NOT include “life lessons” or “scholars have often interpreted” in your introduction or conclusion: You may find it tempting to begin or conclude a paper with statements about how one of Shakespeare’s plays demonstrates some eternal truth (i.e. we are all searching for our identity or reasons for existence) or how your idea differs from notions scholars have long used to interpret the work. Avoid such generalizations because, for the first technique, these ideas never do justice to the complexity of your observations, and for the second technique, you would need to include research to prove your claim. Get right to your specific argument in the paper’s first sentence—that swift specificity is most impressive.
4. Provide a BRIEF quotation in each paragraph: The passage does “double duty”: it provides tangible support that your ideas are indeed evident in the text, and it shows off that you are a careful reader who notices detail. Keep the quote to about one sentence or 1-3 verse-lines in length. By providing brief quotes, you include only what is the most important language for your reader, which keeps the focus tight and does not allow the quote to take too much “air time” away from your own commentary.
5. Speak your own language by using keywords: One of the simplest ways to show that all your ideas work well together is if you devise keywords and phrases for your topic and then use these words lightly throughout your paper, particularly in your title, your introduction, the first few sentences of each paragraph, and your conclusion. As you read over your first draft, look for words/phrases that nicely encapsulate your point. Then graft those words (and sometimes synonyms to avoid being too repetitive) back into the places I mention in this suggestion.
*6*. The secret to successful papers is consistent, well-structured paragraphs that provide an abundance of your own COMMENTARY. Although it seems formulaic, follow this sequence in every paragraph of analysis:
1.) Provide an opening sentence that shows how the idea of the previous paragraph is related to the idea you will discuss in this new paragraph. Hint: Use an introductory phrase that summarizes the previous paragraph’s topic, and then have the main part of the sentence introduce the idea for the new paragraph. Examples of beginnings to introductory phrases: Just as, Because, Although, Even though, When, After, In addition to, etc.).
2.) Include a second sentence that describes the topic that underlies the specific idea your quote will demonstrate. For this sentence (or the previous one), use some of the keywords from your thesis.
3.) Provide a brief quote (usually a sentence long, not just one or two words).
4.) In several subsequent sentences, explain how the passage is significant by referring directly to at least two specific words and ideas in that quote—ideally ones that work together to emphasize your point. By providing a passage from the text, you indicate that those exact words are important; therefore, use your commentary to show just how important they truly are. Think about explaining the significance of what you have noticed to the point that you think you are stating the obvious. By providing full commentary, you are not treating your readers as dim-witted, you are simply doing all the thinking-work for them. This last step of explanation separates an outstanding analysis from an average one. You would be amazed at how many academic papers and job-related documents falter because the writers left the importance of their ideas implied rather than stated outright.
7. Keep your commentary focused on the literal meaning of the words. Many people have the misconception that literary scholars seek to expose the “hidden meaning” of a text. Indeed, good scholarship does reveal interpretations that have gone hitherto unnoticed because, for example, the traditions or historical context may have been insufficiently considered in the past. Once we know these traditions or this context, however, it becomes clear that this meaning is evident all along. For your work in this class, focus firstly on the literal meaning of the words before you move on to any other meaning. What you should avoid is taking some metaphor or minute reference and trying to make a case that the whole play should be read through the lens of that one detail or abstract idea. I am most impressed by a careful reader who notices how larger ideas and patterns operate on the smaller level of individual moments in the text.
8. Do not begin or end a paragraph with a quotation: If you introduce and explain each quote, then you will never begin or end a paragraph with a quotation. By framing each passage with your own explanation, you are providing the interpretation and significance of each quote. Just like the person who has most powerful position in a discussion, you always get the first and the last word.
9. Do not paraphrase or provide plot summary: Write for readers who have read the play already and who understand the basic meaning of the lines.
10. No need to compliment Shakespeare: Do not dilute your work by saying that Shakespeare did a good job writing some aspect of the play or used such vivid imagery that readers can picture the scene or its characters in their minds. These comments are too general and never lead to sophisticated analyses.
11. Avoid describing the characters as if they are real people: Although you can describe characteristics of personality and relationship, do not hypothesize about a character’s inner feelings. To this end, eliminate such phrases as “truly feel/believe,” and every so often, make Shakespeare the subject of the sentence (i.e. Shakespeare creates/depicts) to acknowledge that he has created the figures you discuss.
12. If you incorporate material from secondary sources (i.e. research), see me to go over documentation.
13. Proofread your essays: To catch mistakes, read your papers sentence-by-sentence backwards.
Small items that add that last layer of polish to a formal paper
1. Handling titles: Italicize the titles of plays: The Merchant of Venice, Hamlet.
Remember: Do NOT underline the title of your own paper, or enclose it in quotation marks.
2. Providing citations for each quote: Give the act, scene, and line number(s) in parentheses after each quote. If the quote is less than four lines of verse, do not indent the quote but use a slash to indicate when each line ends. (Prose has not set form; therefore, you do not put slashes in prose quotations.) Notice, also, that the period goes after the citation. The only pieces of punctuation that you include at the end of a quote are a question mark and an exclamation point—omit commas, periods, and semi-colons.
“Fair is foul, and foul is fair. / Hover through the fog and filthy air” (1.1.11-12).
If you quote more than four lines of verse (or more than 28 words in prose), then indent the quote, and do not use quotation marks. Notice that, for a quote in verse, the lines appear as they do in the text.
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. (5.5.19-23)
3. Quotation marks around quoted words: When you refer to words from a quoted passage in your commentary, put those quoted words in double quotation marks (“).
4. Informal language: Although wit and humor are encouraged in class, maintain a formal and scholarly tone in your written assignments. Avoid conversational language, clichés, and contractions (can’t/won’t/shouldn’t) because they are not formal.
5. You/I/Me/We/Us: Do not use the second person (you, yours) in your paper because readers tend not to appreciate it when a writer tells them what they should do or think. I also suggest that you use the first person (I, me, my, mine; we, us, our, ours) sparingly, except in your final paper when you describe your creative choices. In this last paper, using the first person is most appropriate!
6. To be: As often as you can, avoid using the verb “to be” as your main verb. (Forms of “to be” often act as auxiliary verbs for certain tenses, so these instances are appropriate. Ex. “I was running.”) As a main verb, “to be” does not indicate any action or progression but rather sits in your sentences like an “=” sign.
In keeping with this ideas, avoid these lifeless constructions: There is/ It is/ That is.
7. The “lonely” this: Do not use the word “this” by itself. Always use it to modify a noun.
Unclear: This ensures that your reader understands what you mean.
Clear: This rule ensures that your reader understands what you mean.
8. Ellipses: DO NOT INSERT ELLIPSES AT THE BEGINNING OR END OF YOUR QUOTATIONS UNLESS ELLIPSES APPEAR IN THE ORIGINAL TEXT. You do use ellipses if you are eliminating any section out of the middle of a passage. Type ellipses as three periods.
9. Vary your sentence structure: If you begin some of your sentences with introductory phrases (Just as…, Although…, Because…, While…) rather than always with the subject, your sentences will have a lovely varied rhythm. As a result, your prose will sound like music rather than replicate the rhythm of Chinese water torture. I am serious. You would be stunned what a difference varying sentence structure does not only to the sound of one’s prose but also to the emphasis on how ideas connect.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Schedule: Unit 2: Rhetorical Analysis
(subject to change)
______________________________________________
March 1: Tuesday
From A Thousand-Mile Walk to the Gulf, p. 85, and from My First Summer in the Sierras, p. 98, by John Muir. (Journal on one)
March 3: Thursday
from Silent Spring, by Rachel Carson, p. 366 (Journal)
_______________________________________________
March 8: Tuesday:
“Smokey the Bear Sutra,” by Gary Snyder, p. 473 (Journal)
March 10: Thursday:
Photo Project Due
(Be prepared to present a framed copy of your favorite photo to the class)
from Having Faith, by Sandra Steingraber, p. 929,
_______________________________________________
March 15: Tuesday
Spring Break
March 17: Thursday
Spring Break
_______________________________________________
March 22: Tuesday
Rough Draft Rhetorical Analysis Due
Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front,”p. 505, and “The
Making of a Marginal Farm,” p. 507, by Wendell Berry
March 24: Thursday
No class, Conferences (Optional)
______________________________________________
March 29: Tuesday
Final Draft Rhetorical Analysis Due
(Be prepared to share creative component with the class)
March 31: Thursday:
Discuss Casey Land Field Trip
______________________________________________
SATURDAY APRIL 2ND: CASEY LAND FIELD TRIP
(MANDATORY, UNLESS OTHERWISE DISCUSSED, ALTERNATIVE ASSIGNMENT WILL BE REQUIRED IF NOT ATTENDING)
Unit 1 (revised)
UNIT 1:
_______________________________________________
January 11: Tuesday
-Introduce Course Policies
January 13: Thursday
-“Everything Is a Human Being,” by Alice Walker, p. 659
from Leaves of Grass, “This Compost,” by Walt Whitman, pp. 62-63, and "Manhood for Amateurs: The Wilderness of Childhood" by Michael Chabon (http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2009/jul/16/manhood-for-amateurs-the-wilderness-of-childhood/) (Journal on one)
___________________________________________
January 18: Tuesday
-From Refuge by Terry Tempest Williams, pp. 739-752.
January 20: Thursday
-Introduce Photo-A-Day Assignment
-From Refuge, “Epilogue,” pp. 732-759, Eula Biss essay (will be handed out in class) (Journal on one)
_____________________________________________
January 25: Tuesday
-Blood Dazzler, by Patricia Smith, first half “Place,” by WS Merwin, p. 716, “The Summer Day,” by Mary Oliver, p. 737
January 27: Thursday
-Imitate one of Patricia Smith's poems integrating your own experience of place, disaster, home, or loss
-Blood Dazzler, by Patricia Smith, second half. (Journal)______________________________________________
February 1: Tuesday
-In Class: Begin watching Into the Wild
February 3: Thursday
-In Class: Continue watching Into the Wild
____________________________________________
February 8: Tuesday
-From Walden; or, Life in the Woods, by Henry David Thoreau, pp. 9-25 (Journal)
February 10: Thursday
-“A First American Views His Land,” by N. Scott Momaday, p. 570 -___________________________________________
February 15: Tuesday
-Conferences in my office, LA 5
BRING YOUR DRAFT (first two paragraphs)
February 17: Thursday
-Conferences-CANCELLED
________________________________________________
February 22: Tuesday
-Rough Draft Visual Analysis Due
February 24: Thursday
-Final Draft Visual Analysis Due
- “Speech at Grand Canyon, Arizona, May 6, 1903,” by Teddy Roosevelt, “Polemic: Industrial Tourism and the National Parks,” by Edward Abbey, p. 413, (Journal)
________________________________________________
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Writing Center
Conferences are next week...
My office is in Landscape Architecture, Room 5
You're welcome (and encouraged!) to use the ISU Writing Center as well...
Writing Center
300 Carver Hall-
http://wmhc.isucomm.iastate.edu/
Spring 2011 Hours:
Monday 8:30 am - 10:30 am, 11 am - 4pm
Tuesday 8:30 am - 10:30 am, 11 am - 12 pm, 1 pm - 5 pm
Wednesday 8 am - 5 pm
Thursday 10 am - 4 pm
Friday 12 pm - 4 pm
Saturday Closed
Sunday Closed
About the Writing and Media Help Center:
The Iowa State University Writing and Media Help Center provides a comfortable environment wherein ISU scholars from any discipline can collaborate with trained consultants to explore and develop self-awareness and self-sufficiency with written, oral, visual, and electronic communication.
Consultants will help you with any stage of your composing process, from brainstorming and researching to content development and proofreading. We do not proofread or “fix” papers for you, nor do we create or edit media projects for you, but we will help you learn how to proofread and assess the effectiveness your own work, whether it is a website, oral presentation, essay, or lab report.
Consultants in the Writing and Media Help Center work with you according to our core value that composing and critical thinking work together to create a meaningful education. With this value in mind, we collaborate with you to examine how to compose effective documents, and to help you improve your facility with any type of communication.
writectr@iastate.edu
10 Things You Didn't Know About College Grading
November 04, 2009 04:43 PM ET Lynn F. Jacobs, Jeremy S. Hyman Permanent Link Print
Given how concerned most students are about grades, it's amazing how little they know about how grading is done. Actually, it's not so amazing. Universities go to great lengths to hide—or at least not disclose—facts about grading that anyone who's taught at a university for more than a year knows. Want a peek? Read on.
1. It's 10 minutes—and then on to the next. You might think that your grader will spend half an hour to an hour grading each student's piece of work. Not so. Unfortunately, given that an instructor might have a stack of 30, 40, or even 70 papers or tests to grade, he or she has only about 10 minutes to devote to each piece of graded work. This is why you should make your claims clearly and forcefully, avoid any irrelevant or unnecessary material, and take the trouble to really explain your points.
2. The grading is often outsourced. In large classes at large colleges, the professor giving the lecture is rarely the one who does the grading. Instead, there is usually a cadre of low-paid grad students who do the grading. You might know the grad student as the TA running your discussion section. But your grader might also be an unseen and unnamed person who has been hired only to grade the written work, with no other duties in the course. Some professors actively manage the grad student or grader, going over sample papers and setting a grading scale. But other professors are happy to delegate the whole job to the underling and never set eyes on student work.
3. It's not as subjective as you think. While it's easy to see how grades are assigned on "objective" tests (like multiple-choice or short-answer tests), it's tempting to think that the grading of essays or papers is just a matter of opinion. But if you were to actually read a set of 50 essays on the same topic, you—and anyone who knew the material—could see right away that there is a wide range of levels of quality in the answers. For professors who have been teaching the material, it's extremely easy to distinguish the essays from students who show an excellent understanding of the issue from those who sort of get the point and those who have no idea what they're talking about—and to assign the grades accordingly. Sure, the professor down the hall might see the same set a bit differently, but it's not likely that this other prof is going to find the D essay any more illuminating than the one who gave a D in the first place.
4. A's are often in short supply. At most colleges, despite what you might have heard about grade inflation, professors give about 10 percent to 25 percent A's in introductory classes and perhaps 30 percent to 50 percent in more advanced courses.
5. Grading usually is not a zero-sum game. In classes where the grading is curved, your grade is in fact determined by your position relative to other students in the class. But curves are not used in all that many classes. Most liberal arts students don't see them that often. So relax—the reason you didn't get an A is not because your friend stole the last available A. It's just that the level of your work didn't merit one.
6. First impressions count. Since your grader is working fast and trying to make a quick decision about what grade to give, nailing the main point in the very first paragraph creates a feeling of satisfaction in the grader. This sets the essay on the path to an A. Keeping the grader in suspense about when—and if—you're ever going to answer the question, or, worse, larding your essay with bull, very quickly inclines the grader to a C.
7. Last impressions count. Your conclusion is the last thing your grader reads before slapping the grade on at the bottom, so whatever you do, don't end with excuses or explanations of why you did such a bad job. This only confirms the grader's judgment that the essay wasn't really all that hot. Just summing up what you've said is OK, but a far better idea is to bring out some new point of even deeper significance or draw an unexpected connection—that's ending with a bang. And you'll likely get a bang-up grade.
8. Effort isn't taken into account (usually). In college, you are generally graded on the product you produce, not on how hard you worked to produce it. Students have a lot of trouble grasping this, which is why professors regularly hear complaints from students unhappy about getting a bad grade on something they worked "really hard" on. Professors have no trouble dismissing such complaints, since they're not in the effort-assessment business (and couldn't be, even if they wanted to).
9. There aren't usually do-overs or extra credit. In most courses, the professor has
his or her hands full with the regular work and isn't looking to allow students with bad grades to rewrite their papers for a better grade. They're also not likely to offer the chance to do extra work for extra credit. So try to do it right from the first.
10. There's no real court of appeals. Sure, most colleges have official procedures
for disputing a grade, but grades rarely get changed. It usually happens only if there is some serious procedural irregularity (such as incorrectly adding up the points, failing to read a page of the answer, or not following policies on the syllabus or the college rules). Arguments that almost never work include: My friend wrote the same paper but did better than I; another TA grades easier; and the assignment wasn't fair. If you haven't gotten the grade you wanted, it's best just to suck it up, then ask the professor or TA how you can do better next time.
© Copyright 2009 Professors' Guide LLC. All rights reserved.
February 10-Peer Response
1. As you read over the paper, please circle any:
-"to be" words (is, was, were)
-slips into the second person ("you")
-references to Sean Penn as "Sean" or Chris McCandless as "Chris."
2. Does the paper have a title that forecasts the content of the paper? If not, can you suggest an informative title?
3. Does the introduction give the scene context? If not, how could it be improved?
4. What does the writer state as the director’s/film’s claim? Does the claim take into account the larger conflicts contained within the film?
5. Write the sentence(s) that you consider the thesis. Is it arguable? Is it specific? Does it forecast the elements of the scene that the writer plans to analyze? How could the thesis be improved?
6. Focus: How well does the writer stay on track? Where does the writer go off-track, or include information that does not move the paper forward?
7. Does the writer give enough concrete details of the scene? Where could the writer be more specific about visual/auditory elements to deepen his/her analysis?
8. Does the writer break down the visual/auditory elements to specifically analyze what purpose they serve? If not how could they improve? What suggestions do you have?
9. Does the writer connect that analysis back to the thesis? (Please circle/highlight/or note all the places where the writer fails to make these connections)
10. Is the paper well-organized? Does each paragraph contain a clear focus and supporting information? Are there forecasting and transitional sentences to help guide the reader?
11. Are there any parts of the essay that are confusing or that need more details/explanation?
12. What did you like about the draft?
13. What are the weaknesses of the draft? How can the writer improve the weak areas?
What your paper should do:
(Note—these are assignment requirements—if you fulfill the basic requirements of the assignment you will receive a “C” on the paper. Should you not fulfill these requirements you will receive a “D” or lower. “A” and “B”-level papers go beyond the basics, approaching the assignment with in-depth thought, careful consideration, and a more sophisticated writing style—however they still need to contain all the assignments “basic” elements.)
Introduction:
-Places the scene in context
-States the director’s claim
-Has a clear, arguable, forecasting thesis
Body Paragraphs:
-organized around a specific scene element or directorial strategy
-includes very specific visual/auditory evidence to the scene
-connects each example back to the strategy/author’s larger thesis
-includes a transition/summary sentence
Conclusion:
-Summarizes the content of the paper
-Re-situates the scene within the larger context/director’s intent
(Note: An A or B conclusion does more that this…)
DO NOT: (think C paper or [most likely] below….)
-summarize the film
-include personal reactions to the film
-copy/paste your thesis statement into your conclusion
-use “You” (/second person)
-overuse “to be” verbs (is , was, were, etc)—USE NO MORE THAN 1 PER PARAGRAPH
-Call the director by his first name alone (First and last names or last names should be used in academic papers)
DO: (think B papers and above, if done well)
-Use size 12 Times New Roman Font, double-spaced
-Include your rough draft and peer response sheet
-Use as much visual/auditory evidence from the film as is appropriate, your detailed description of your scene will serve as the evidence of your paper
-Use strong verbs, descriptive language
-Remember the content of the course while writing your paper, feel free to (i.e. please do) discuss the depiction of environment in the context of what we’ve read or discussed in class (this may be an appropriate thing to include in your conclusion or introduction)
-Discuss the relationship between character and environment
-Treat the American Landscape as a character or major element of the film
Reminders:
Final draft of your papers due February 24
Conference Times-
8:20-Emilia
8:40-
8:50-Cerella
9:00-Kate Moorhouse
9:10-Lauren Chorpening
9:20-Keenan Mahoney
9:30-Matt Kownick
9:40-Morgan
10:00-Michael Leighton
Thursday:
CANCELLED
8:20-Issac
8:30-Maritza
8:40 -Julia
8:50-Veronica Hollister
9:00-Megan Schuster
9:10-Jiali Zhang
9:20-Kellie McGrath
9:30-Lauren
9:40-Emily
9:50-Jeremy
10:00-Zach Balke
10:10-Bailey
10:20-Helane
10:30-Erica Lansman
Monday: February 21:
5:10-Maritza
5:20-Kellie
6:00-Erica
Tuesday February 22:
9:30-Jeremy
9:40 -Matt
9:50 -Zach
10:00 -Zach
12:50-Megan
Monday, February 7, 2011
February 8
From OWL website (Purdue University):
Tips for Writing a Thesis Statement:
1.Determine what kind of paper you are writing:
•An analytical paper breaks down an issue or an idea into its component parts, evaluates the issue or idea, and presents this breakdown and evaluation to the audience.
•An expository (explanatory) paper explains something to the audience.
•An argumentative paper makes a claim about a topic and justifies this claim with specific evidence. The claim could be an opinion, a policy proposal, an evaluation, a cause-and-effect statement, or an interpretation. The goal of the argumentative paper is to convince the audience that the claim is true based on the evidence provided.
If you are writing a text which does not fall under these three categories (ex. a narrative), a thesis statement somewhere in the first paragraph could still be helpful to your reader.
2. Your thesis statement should be specific—it should cover only what you will discuss in your paper and should be supported with specific evidence.
3. The thesis statement usually appears at the end of the first paragraph of a paper.
4. Your topic may change as you write, so you may need to revise your thesis statement to reflect exactly what you have discussed in the paper.
Thesis Statement Examples
Example of an analytical thesis statement:
An analysis of the college admission process reveals one challenge facing counselors: accepting students with high test scores or students with strong extracurricular backgrounds.
The paper that follows should:
•explain the analysis of the college admission process
•explain the challenge facing admissions counselors
Example of an expository (explanatory) thesis statement:
The life of the typical college student is characterized by time spent studying, attending class, and socializing with peers.
The paper that follows should:
•explain how students spend their time studying, attending class, and socializing with peers
Example of an argumentative thesis statement:
High school graduates should be required to take a year off to pursue community service projects before entering college in order to increase their maturity and global awareness.
The paper that follows should:
•present an argument and give evidence to support the claim that students should pursue community projects before entering college
Into the Wild:
http://www.studio360.org/episodes/2007/09/14/segments/85349
In "Scene" Groups" discuss and write a response:
-What does Sean Penn suggest his intent might be?
-Do you agree?
-What visual themes did you notice throughout the movie? What might they suggest?
-How would you finish the sentence: "Into the Wild" is a film about____________?
-What do you see as Sean Penn's thesis?
-How do you see your scene as supporting that thesis visually? (make a list)
Thoreau:
What similarities do you see between Thoreau and Chris McCandless?
Homework:
-Rough Draft Visual Analysis Due next class period
-“A First American Views His Land,” by N. Scott Momaday, p. 570