February 10-Peer Response

Peer Response Questions

1. As you read over the paper, please circle any:
-"to be" words (is, was, were)
-slips into the second person ("you")
-references to Sean Penn as "Sean" or Chris McCandless as "Chris."

2. Does the paper have a title that forecasts the content of the paper? If not, can you suggest an informative title?

3. Does the introduction give the scene context? If not, how could it be improved?

4. What does the writer state as the director’s/film’s claim? Does the claim take into account the larger conflicts contained within the film?

5. Write the sentence(s) that you consider the thesis. Is it arguable? Is it specific? Does it forecast the elements of the scene that the writer plans to analyze? How could the thesis be improved?

6. Focus: How well does the writer stay on track? Where does the writer go off-track, or include information that does not move the paper forward?

7. Does the writer give enough concrete details of the scene? Where could the writer be more specific about visual/auditory elements to deepen his/her analysis?

8. Does the writer break down the visual/auditory elements to specifically analyze what purpose they serve? If not how could they improve? What suggestions do you have?

9. Does the writer connect that analysis back to the thesis? (Please circle/highlight/or note all the places where the writer fails to make these connections)

10. Is the paper well-organized? Does each paragraph contain a clear focus and supporting information? Are there forecasting and transitional sentences to help guide the reader?

11. Are there any parts of the essay that are confusing or that need more details/explanation?

12. What did you like about the draft?

13. What are the weaknesses of the draft? How can the writer improve the weak areas?

What your paper should do:

(Note—these are assignment requirements—if you fulfill the basic requirements of the assignment you will receive a “C” on the paper. Should you not fulfill these requirements you will receive a “D” or lower. “A” and “B”-level papers go beyond the basics, approaching the assignment with in-depth thought, careful consideration, and a more sophisticated writing style—however they still need to contain all the assignments “basic” elements.)


Introduction:

-Places the scene in context
-States the director’s claim
-Has a clear, arguable, forecasting thesis

Body Paragraphs:

-organized around a specific scene element or directorial strategy
-includes very specific visual/auditory evidence to the scene
-connects each example back to the strategy/author’s larger thesis
-includes a transition/summary sentence

Conclusion:

-Summarizes the content of the paper
-Re-situates the scene within the larger context/director’s intent
(Note: An A or B conclusion does more that this…)

DO NOT: (think C paper or [most likely] below….)

-summarize the film
-include personal reactions to the film
-copy/paste your thesis statement into your conclusion
-use “You” (/second person)
-overuse “to be” verbs (is , was, were, etc)—USE NO MORE THAN 1 PER PARAGRAPH
-Call the director by his first name alone (First and last names or last names should be used in academic papers)

DO: (think B papers and above, if done well)

-Use size 12 Times New Roman Font, double-spaced
-Include your rough draft and peer response sheet
-Use as much visual/auditory evidence from the film as is appropriate, your detailed description of your scene will serve as the evidence of your paper
-Use strong verbs, descriptive language
-Remember the content of the course while writing your paper, feel free to (i.e. please do) discuss the depiction of environment in the context of what we’ve read or discussed in class (this may be an appropriate thing to include in your conclusion or introduction)
-Discuss the relationship between character and environment
-Treat the American Landscape as a character or major element of the film

Reminders:

Final draft of your papers due February 24